-Completely Known-

Andy never had a father
who was anywhere nearby
and when he was and Andy asked him things
he couldn't get him to reply

So Andy taught himself the things
that he thought he might ought to know
when he talks about the wintertime
he says "I understand the snow"

Andy left his small hometown
he went to college and he majored in art history
Now he lives in a canvas world
As a docent in a gallery

Andy speaks aesthetically
he can quantify the beautiful
But he can hardly feel inside
so he just does what's dutiful

Julie's tendency's to freeze
whenever she's confronted
She's borne so many losses
that her senses have been blunted

She learned about death and dying
when she was only six years old
Since then everyone she meets
seems a little cold

She's tried to change herself
by being a good lover
But every time she finds someone good
He leaves her 'cause he says she smothers

And she lost count a year ago
when she was livin' in West Virginia
The last one never even told her it was over, in fact
as he left he said, "I got a ring I'm gonna send ya"

And I used to bathe in tears at night
'cause I felt like I was on my own
I used to think that I would never be
completely known

I used to hold on tightly
to the sorrows that I owned
But they were all I knew
they had run me through
and they had left me
all alone

I used to pray every day
that God would mend what's torn
And now I see the only way is to die...
to die...
and be reborn
I have finally found a way to live
in the presence of the Lord


Gosh. I feel Julie's pain so deeply...why, Lord? Change the name to "Kiva" and you have me. again. broken.

Lord, I want to be completely known.

-Nothing-

I am so confused.

I don't know what I'm thinking or what I'm doing.

I don't know what I should be thinking or what I should be doing.

*sigh*

-Brutal-

I have a quadruple sinus infection. As in: an infection in 4 of my 6 sinus cavities. pain.

-Resignation-

I think I've finally resigned myself to the fact that I need to get my surgery.

I don't want to. I can't afford it. I'm scared. I don't like what it's going to do for me for the first little bit. Did I mention that I'm scared?

-Tied Together-

Tied Together with a Smile - Taylor Swift

Seems the only one who doesn't see your beauty
Is the face in the mirror looking back at you
You walk around here thinking you're not pretty
But that's not true, cause I know you...

Hold on, baby, you're losing it
The water's high, you're jumping into it
And letting go... and no one knows
That you cry, but you don't tell anyone
That you might not be the golden one
And you're tied together with a smile
But you're coming undone

I guess it's true that love was all you wanted
Cause you're giving it away like it's extra change
Hoping it will end up in his pocket
But he leaves you out like a penny in the rain
Oh, cause it's not his price to pay
Not his price to pay...

Hold on, baby, you're losing it
The water's high, you're jumping into it
And letting go... and no one knows
That you cry, but you don't tell anyone
That you might not be the golden one
And you're tied together with a smile
But you're coming undone

You're tied together with a smile
But you're coming undone... oh
Goodbye, baby
Goodbye, baby
With a smile, baby, baby

-Broken-

I guess God has decided that I haven't had enough brokenness in my life.

Or maybe it's the fact that I am so stubborn that He has to break me over the same thing time and time again...and maybe, at some point in time, I'll finally learn my lesson.