-Masquerade: Part 1-

I'm so tired of being fake.

Where does one even start in peeling away the mask?

-Rescue-

I need You Jesus
to come to my rescue
where else can I go?
There's no other name
by which I am saved
capture me with grace...

-Lullaby-

Vienna Teng - "Lullaby for a Stormy Night"

Little child, be not afraid
though rain pounds harshly against the glass
like an unwanted stranger, there is no danger
I am here tonight.

Little child, be not afraid
though thunder explodes and lightning flash
illuminates your tear-stained face
I am here tonight.

and someday you'll know
that nature is so
the same rain that draws you near me
falls on rivers and land
on forests and sand
makes the beautiful world that you'll see
in the morning

Little child, be not afraid
though storm clouds mask your beloved moon
and its candlelight beams, still keep pleasant dreams
I am here tonight.

Little child, be not afraid
though wind makes creatures of our trees
and their branches to hands, they're not real, understand
and I am here tonight

and someday you'll know
that nature is so
the same rain that draws you near me
falls on rivers and land
on forests and sand
makes the beautiful world that you'll see
in the morning

for you know, once even I was a
little child, and I was afraid
but a gentle someone always came
to dry all my tears, trade sweet sleep for fears
and to give a kiss goodnight

well now I am grown
and these years have shown
that rain's a part of how life goes
but it's dark and it's late
so I'll hold you and wait
'til your frightened eyes do close

and I hope that you'll know...
that nature is so
the same rain that draws you near me
falls on rivers and land
on forests and sand
makes the beautiful world that you'll see
in the morning

everything's fine in the morning
the rain'll be gone in the morning
but I'll still be here in the morning...

-Vulnerability-

There is so much freedom in vulnerability.

More later.

-Exposure-

My pastor opened the sermon this morning with two words:

expose yourself.

Let God see you naked.

Psalm 139 talks about how God sees everything we do. He is always with us. He formed us in our mother's womb. He knows when we are waking and sleeping. He knows when we come and when we go. He knows us intimately.

He sees our flaws, our nakedness. Vulnerability exposes ugliness. If you don't expose it, how can you fix it? Don't be afraid of the intimacy that God desires.

But that intimacy is terrifying. I'm afraid of letting God see me naked, although He already knows what's there. He knows my fear and desires to turn it to peace. He knows my failures and desires to turn them to victory. He knows my ashes and desires to turn them to beauty.

So why am I so afraid?