New.

I have a new blog........check it here: http://dailysurrenderings.wordpress.com/

yeah. lots of reasons for the change.

-Ache-

Why is it so much easier to allow a guy to break my heart than it is to step back and say "no"?

*sigh*

-Inside Out-

A thousand times I've failed
still Your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
still I'm caught in Your grace

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart, in my soul, I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
to love You from the inside out

Your will above all else
my purpose remains
The art of losing myself
in bringing You praise

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart, in my soul, I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
to love You from the inside out

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
from the inside out Lord, my soul cries out


We sang this song at church yesterday. It broke me. Especially the first verse and chorus. I'm ready for God to consume me. To change me. To shape me. I'm ready to live for Him. To love Him. To serve Him. From the inside out.

-Completely Known-

Andy never had a father
who was anywhere nearby
and when he was and Andy asked him things
he couldn't get him to reply

So Andy taught himself the things
that he thought he might ought to know
when he talks about the wintertime
he says "I understand the snow"

Andy left his small hometown
he went to college and he majored in art history
Now he lives in a canvas world
As a docent in a gallery

Andy speaks aesthetically
he can quantify the beautiful
But he can hardly feel inside
so he just does what's dutiful

Julie's tendency's to freeze
whenever she's confronted
She's borne so many losses
that her senses have been blunted

She learned about death and dying
when she was only six years old
Since then everyone she meets
seems a little cold

She's tried to change herself
by being a good lover
But every time she finds someone good
He leaves her 'cause he says she smothers

And she lost count a year ago
when she was livin' in West Virginia
The last one never even told her it was over, in fact
as he left he said, "I got a ring I'm gonna send ya"

And I used to bathe in tears at night
'cause I felt like I was on my own
I used to think that I would never be
completely known

I used to hold on tightly
to the sorrows that I owned
But they were all I knew
they had run me through
and they had left me
all alone

I used to pray every day
that God would mend what's torn
And now I see the only way is to die...
to die...
and be reborn
I have finally found a way to live
in the presence of the Lord


Gosh. I feel Julie's pain so deeply...why, Lord? Change the name to "Kiva" and you have me. again. broken.

Lord, I want to be completely known.

-Nothing-

I am so confused.

I don't know what I'm thinking or what I'm doing.

I don't know what I should be thinking or what I should be doing.

*sigh*